I've been in the corporate world for a decade internationally and locally. When I was young, I've always pictured myself walking everyday to a big lobby in black stilettos and crisp bags. Today, my hair is tied up, I am wearing tattered spaghetti straps, boxer shorts and barefoot, carefully making sure not to step on the Lego blocks and toy cars scattered on the floor, trying hard to quietly finish filling the lightning McQueen lunchbox and checking all the homework inside a blue plastic envelope.
Years ago, I took a degree that requires working in construction sites which somehow made me feel I don't belong to that world. After five years of study and a few months of field work, I decided to go off the beaten path. I admit that was a very impatient and prompt decision. Hehe! I changed my goals, realigned my perspective and revised my plans. I found myself applying to a completely different field, with no experience nor idea about how it would work for me. One of the world's top companies hired me, provided me the best trainings here and abroad and gave me the chance to prove that a person should not limit his abilities. I was on a high.
Then I got married. I may honestly say that this made me love my work less. I wanted now to embark in another different field, the domesticated field. I would go to the office not to enjoy what I'm doing but only because I had to be there.
Then I got pregnant. Which amped up my desire to stay at home and loved household chores more than tapping the keyboard 8-10 hours a day.
Then I got blessed with a little baby! And I never wanted to go to work anymore. When I felt that it was draining me of the energy that should have been spent cuddling my baby. Don't get me wrong, this is all me. We all get a different journey. And in mine, it was a very deep and hard battle. I was caught up in a loophole of standing by the dream I chose before and of being a simple homemaker. I decided to do the latter. I enjoy being at home taking care of the house, the little boy and the working dad. If you're asking me if I believe I made the right decision, I seriously have no idea!
Then the questions started to pour. Are our finances enough? Will I be able to stand up to this decision? What happens if suddenly I get the urge to come back? Will a company still be willing to take me? Am I becoming a whole different person? What if I ended up not liking this person?
For some of you. The decision may still has not happened yet. And you are reading this to help you weigh your options more. I hope this may help.
1. When choosing where to spend most of your hours, whether in the office or at home, make sure that your choice needs you there. It does not make sense to stay in a place where you are not valuable. Harsh! But it helps it weigh things better.
2. Be careful of practicality disguised as anything else. Be honest to yourself and to the people around you. List down the things you need and what may get lost and may be gained along the way after your decision.
3. Definitely choose the path where you will love yourself more. Do not decide based on your boss' advise, your husband's prodding, your parents' nagging or your friends' situation. Do not mind anyone. This is your choice and no one is allowed to meddle. Choose the path where you know that you'll end up happy, contented and loved. This does not always mean staying at home. Take note of that. It depends upon where God has called you for. Believe me, even if I chose otherwise, I have high respect and admiration to corporate moms.
4. Hold on to faith. Have faith and keep lots of it. You will need this to keep yourself going after your decision has been made.
When you are still having a hard time choosing. This "trick" has worked for me a lot of times! Wake up very early one day. Go outside where there is fresh air and silence. Get a sturdy chair. Make yourself coffee. Put your feet up. Coffee mug between your hands. Drink it slowly. Close your eyes. If you can, pray. And when the sun is out. Even if you are still unsure, you know deep inside you, you have already made a choice.
Good luck! :)
